Jul 18, 2009

Medem, Ticket Part-2

Hey. I am back with more tales of 764.

I have finally deciphered the mystery of the once-famous MONKEY MAN. It is none other than our very own bus conductor. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our bus conductor!!!!

This gentleman…oops… gentlemonkey springs from one seat to another with great dexterity and never sets his feet on the floor of the bus. He’ll leap over our heads with √©lan, like a trained circus primate and we all clap in unison, appreciating his skillfulness. Such a technique is very useful when a conductor wishes to manoeuvre his way into a jam-packed bus!!! But beware, he might lose balance as well and thrash your heads badly.

And who can forget about the infamous ‘LOK- SANGEET’, alias the haryanavi geet? In these four years, I have relished (???) such a huge collection of desi hits. Why does Pritam want to get into courtroom hassles by copying International hits? He can easily take inspiration from these ‘dhinchaak’ songs, that too free of cost. Even my special noise- cancellation earphones turn ineffective in front of the blaring, cacophonic haryanavi sangeet.

Another day, I was traveling in 764 when a lady sitting on the seat in front of mine, turned around slightly, craned her neck and spat on my window. I narrowed my eyes, glared at her angrily and the lady glared back. Roughly 10 seconds later, the same thing happened and thus began my ‘spit-o- meter’ counter. The count rose sharply, I lost track of it and the winner came out with flying colours and established a new world record.

Ok, this one’s from my dear friend, Himanshu. He was sitting next to a guy who had just bought a ticket from the conductor. The guy was busy dozing off when the conductor went about his regular patrolling rounds. He shook the guy hard and asked him to show the ticket. The guy obediently opened his bag and Voila!!! The bag contains hundreds and thousands of multicoloured bus tickets… helplessly rummaging through them, the guy called out, “bhaiya, dhoond lo!!.”

This one is completely outdo rest of the haryanavi acts!!! Once I was sitting next to a very talkative aunty. Suddenly, some devotees of Lord Krishna leaped into the bus and started off with some Bhajans. In between, they also threw hints at us to rummage through our wallets for some change. Obviously, there were in a hurry to catch another us for their ‘routine’ work and in turn, they, very cleverly, skipped some of the stanzas of the bhajans . However, our aunty, the finest, truest devotee I have ever come across, interrupted in between, “beta, aap beech ka antra bhool gaye ho…. Use bhi gayo!!!” .Bewildered devotees were fuming with rage and realized that dealing with such aunties is really not a cakewalk!!

Sequels ka zamaana hai….So, watch this space for more fun.