On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I was flipping through a science journal when I came across a photograph of a leech. Eyeing the slimy, wriggling creature , I slipped into my contemplative mood recalling those blood- suckers in my own life. Some can be easily taken care of by a little bit of “salt- rubbing” but for the rest, squashing, smashing and impaling are the only alternatives.
Hmmm, let me categorize the myriad bloodsuckers I have come across in my life:
- The tech- freaks and gizmo- geeks: During my three years in college, I have come across various ‘ Einsteins’ who can recite the whole list of soft wares, gadgets etc old or new, with panache. Quite a commendable job! What I cannot tolerate are the bouts of insults thrown on others by them, lack of humility and modesty in them, the surprised ( in fact, shocked! ) look on their faces on realizing that others are equally equipped with knowledge and capabilities and last but not the least, the sing-song of praises for themselves. Losers!
2.The critical ‘ Aunties’: there are some friends of my mummy, mummies of my friends and well as some other ‘XYZ’ aunties who feel that it is their duty to inform me that my ‘ kurtis’ are extremely tight, my weight is soaring heights, iam of ‘ marriageable’ age, shouldn’t be so career-oriented etc. They are desperate to know how much do I earn, whom am I dating etc and even more desperate to tell that their ‘betis’ cook so proficiently ,their ‘ puttars’ earn 10 lacs per month, their earrings are diamond-studded and their saris, pure kanjivarams. Aunty ji, what the hell is this???
3.The ‘over ripened’ souls : Some smarties believe that maturity doesn’t come with age at all. They feel that they are mature enough to argue incessantly, talk about sex, booze and cigarettes confidently, be over- demanding about their rights, patronize and belittle others and do every shitty thing, which, they believe, would make their mature in the eyes of others. But give them some responsibility, or expect some degree of commitment towards their family, friends and others or and watch them acquire deaf ears in a fraction of second!
4.The ungrateful ones: there are some ungrateful morons for whom “ Thank you! “ is a phrase non-existent in their dictionaries. You spend all your time trying to make life better and things easier for them. Now, when their turn arrives, they initially rebuff you and then squat you down, like a housefly.
5.The walking “ Gucci “ showroom: “Oh! This saree cost me 25,000 /- . Gold brocade, you know! “
“You know, I prefer only Rolex watches !”
“Every room in our house has an A.C !”
“We have Mercedes at our disposal all the time .”
Well , I guess you all must have got the clue!
6.The United ‘ bottom –pinchers’ and ‘eye- winkers’ of India: This ‘ award- winning’ category comprises of the paanwallas, sabzi wallahs, uncle jis, bhai sahibs, and most importantly, the ‘Respectable’ crowd of route no.764 which I board everyday. No matter whichever street you walk or whichever bus you board, their preconceived notion that women at available at their service 24*7 and we are alive just for their entertainment and pleasure will always remain etched on their minds!!
I guess that was enough… I would definitely need a “Punching bag “ now!!