Oct 9, 2008

The myriad types of blood suckers!

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I was flipping through a science journal when I came across a photograph of a leech. Eyeing the slimy, wriggling creature , I slipped into my contemplative mood recalling those blood- suckers in my own life. Some can be easily taken care of by a little bit of “salt- rubbing” but for the rest, squashing, smashing and impaling are the only alternatives.

Hmmm, let me categorize the myriad bloodsuckers I have come across in my life:

  1. The tech- freaks and gizmo- geeks: During my three years in college, I have come across various ‘ Einsteins’ who can recite the whole list of soft wares, gadgets etc old or new, with panache. Quite a commendable job! What I cannot tolerate are the bouts of insults thrown on others by them, lack of humility and modesty in them, the surprised ( in fact, shocked! ) look on their faces on realizing that others are equally equipped with knowledge and capabilities and last but not the least, the sing-song of praises for themselves. Losers!

2.The critical ‘ Aunties’: there are some friends of my mummy, mummies of my friends and well as some other ‘XYZ’ aunties who feel that it is their duty to inform me that my ‘ kurtis’ are extremely tight, my weight is soaring heights, iam of ‘ marriageable’ age, shouldn’t be so career-oriented etc. They are desperate to know how much do I earn, whom am I dating etc and even more desperate to tell that their ‘betis’ cook so proficiently ,their ‘ puttars’ earn 10 lacs per month, their earrings are diamond-studded and their saris, pure kanjivarams. Aunty ji, what the hell is this???

3.The ‘over ripened’ souls : Some smarties believe that maturity doesn’t come with age at all. They feel that they are mature enough to argue incessantly, talk about sex, booze and cigarettes confidently, be over- demanding about their rights, patronize and belittle others and do every shitty thing, which, they believe, would make their mature in the eyes of others. But give them some responsibility, or expect some degree of commitment towards their family, friends and others or and watch them acquire deaf ears in a fraction of second!

4.The ungrateful ones: there are some ungrateful morons for whom “ Thank you! “ is a phrase non-existent in their dictionaries. You spend all your time trying to make life better and things easier for them. Now, when their turn arrives, they initially rebuff you and then squat you down, like a housefly.

5.The walking “ Gucci “ showroom: “Oh! This saree cost me 25,000 /- . Gold brocade, you know! “
“You know, I prefer only Rolex watches !”
“Every room in our house has an A.C !”
“We have Mercedes at our disposal all the time .”

Well , I guess you all must have got the clue!

6.The United ‘ bottom –pinchers’ and ‘eye- winkers’ of India: This ‘ award- winning’ category comprises of the paanwallas, sabzi wallahs, uncle jis, bhai sahibs, and most importantly, the ‘Respectable’ crowd of route no.764 which I board everyday. No matter whichever street you walk or whichever bus you board, their preconceived notion that women at available at their service 24*7 and we are alive just for their entertainment and pleasure will always remain etched on their minds!!

I guess that was enough… I would definitely need a “Punching bag “ now!!

Oct 5, 2008

Those inanimate objects...

Certain things in life may be the most expensive ones, yet they are the least valuable because people who own them stop loving them at some point of time. Yet there are some objects, which cannot emote, but they can evoke a plentiful of emotions in us…
For instance, just a few days back, my kid sis drew out a cute fat cat on a crumbled piece of paper for me. I still carry that paper with me whenever I go. Whenever I look at it and smile, it seems that the cat smiles back reminding me of how this little act of innocence by my sister keeps me cocooned from the strong feelings of dejection.
On similar grounds, some years back, my elder sister gave me a card on my very first day of college. The card is torn to bits and pieces but I carry it with me whenever I have exams and interviews. Call it superstition but I do feel that it has a major contribution to my achievements.
Paintings from kindergarten, chocolate wrappers, group photographs, pink birthday frocks, slam diaries, greeting cards, crumbled gifts papers, I have them all. My mom keeps fuming all the time over my ‘ kachra peti’ , accusing me each time of polluting the environment. Yet she herself wont throw away sarees my papa gifted her however out- of- fashion, or lets say, ‘Jurassic’ they would become. It’s actually fun to compare my kindergarten blue ducks with the engineering drawing sheets. It literally makes me feel as if I have taken a big leap from from being preposterous to immaculate. Hehehe…
These objects speak a lot about those cherished moments of the past, those hidden, unexpressed feelings of the loved ones and to some extent, our own unintended transition from childhood to adulthood. They all speak out unanimously that life is like a kaleidoscope; one small shift and the whole pattern disappear.
So, I try hard to keep some reminiscences, which keep reminding me of some long lost friends who loved me once, of my elder sister who, though seven seas across, is around me 24*7, of my younger sister who has transformed from a cute, plump girl to a beautiful young lady, of my loving parents and most importantly, of my own self; the person I was and the person I have evolved into.
My cherished ‘kachra peti’ reminds me that life is a banquet-dinner of memories, of reminiscences, of our own distant past. Whether to hold on to them or move on is all in our accord. Time flies but memories linger on, sometimes faded, sometimes vivid. But I want to hold on to them. After all, man makes memories but memories also make a man.

Oct 2, 2008

Hmmmm… I love my plastic smile!!!!

Some people have a perennial problem of darting their expert comments on others even if they are not required to. They carry a notion in their hearts that the almighty has endowed them with all the wits and charms to woo the world…I wish I could help such poor souls to get rid of their whims and fancies.

Anyways, I came across an acquaintance of mine who believed that some ghissus like me lead an abnormally normal life, carry a ‘plastic’ smile all the time and shirk indefinitely from adventures in life. Well, I believe that I have had enough of such adventures in life, both on personal and professional front, to shake me from within for time indefinite.

Well, a question for such ‘random’ souls!! Do you think that riding your bike at an inexplicably high speed, wooing some girls ( supposedly, ) with your dance moves, asking out charming girls just for the heck of it, running away from commitments , setting fashion trends for others, giving your views of movies and stuff even if you are not required to is all that you call adventures? I would call that idleness of mind and soul…lack of depth in your character and lack of understanding of the vast expanse of emotions in others’. Adventure for them is running away from responsibilities and commitments because that puts a constraint on their indulging in further adventures of similar nature…

I love my plastic smile…however plastic it may be, it is a smile after all. It helps to conceal the pain of one’s heart. Maybe some cool, GenX people do not realize the amount of efforts that it takes to smile even that much…

It is not that I have no reasons to smile. I have a loving family, a career going steady and most importantly, the love of my life. However, this is just the facade. Deep down inside, there is a lot more dysfunctionality that one could imagine… but still I love my life and iam living it, not surviving… mind it!

A note for such fellows: I know we live our life only once. So why not live it the way we want to. I want to live it in an abnormally normal fashion. Loving my family, managing
my career, continually falling in love with my soul mate every single moment ,shopping, reading , reclining, restraining from ‘nerve- wrecking’ adventures in life and most importantly, not giving ‘ advice’ to others on ‘how to lead one’s life’…

Thank you dear, you made me realize how much beautiful and warm my ‘plastic’ smile is!

The unpredictable predicaments of Life...

The unpredictable predicaments of life

I miss my childhood a lot sometimes…….

There was a lot of naivety associated with it. I laugh aloud when I think about how the simple problems of mental maths seemed like a never-ending ordeal to me. Now, I can cram uncountable formulae with panache.

I remember how I used to sit with my pals to enjoy the little treats of jam-bread which my mother used to pack as Tiffin. Now, I do not recall a single day when I must have enjoyed a hearty meal with my friends in the college. Most of the times, I gulp it down either half-heartedly or hastily.

Such is life! We spend our entire lives learning, then earning but in the end, yearning for more. My elder sister always used to tell me one thing: Believe in yourself more, judge yourself less by the accomplishments of others.Always look ahead, and never look back. I used to nod my head in agreement to it. But now, I guess, that is the hardest thing to do, isnt’t it? After all, we all do judge ourselves based on others’ accomplishments only. Although a need never arises to feel downcast, I do feel so when my peers get recruited in better firms with better salaries. My somnolent jealousy becomes awake (unfair on my part) and my own achievements seem meager to me. Hahaha….

Sometimes, I cannot fathom the numbness and awkwardness inside me, an anguish which is buried deep inside, struggling to come out now and then.

Sometimes, as I recline in the vastness of emotions, I ponder that all that happens in our life is uncontrollable, to some extent and we, like a spectators, start enjoying it and lose hold of the art to manoeuvre it tactfully.

I often have discussions with myself about the kind of life I would have cherished. I have spent a great deal of my life being mesmerized and enchanted by English classics. The enormity and depth of characters have always mystified me and made me endeavor to be like them.But that would have been unjustified from my side, no? I wish I could meander amidst the vast green expanse of the fields, with the warmth of sun kissing my soul deep within, breathing in the fragrance of simplicity and naivety which life wishes to offer...

Today, a feeling of bitterness and resentment made me write…A talent I had become devoid of in the last few months. Why do I have to earn six lakhs a month if iam content with four? Why do I need to drive a Mercedes if iam happy with Maruti ? Why do I need to sing, dance and cook (or look) well if iam happy the way iam? Why do I need to shoulder the responsibility of bringing joys to others’ life if iam not happy from within?

There is a plethora of questions which have no answers but unfailingly, we ponder over them every single moment. Through this blog, I seriously don’t intend to find an answer to them and arouse any kind of resentment in some optimistic souls…iam simply looking forward to mingle with those like-minded people who are entangled in the mind-boggling predicaments of life…..those confused souls!