The unpredictable predicaments of life
I miss my childhood a lot sometimes…….
There was a lot of naivety associated with it. I laugh aloud when I think about how the simple problems of mental maths seemed like a never-ending ordeal to me. Now, I can cram uncountable formulae with panache.
I remember how I used to sit with my pals to enjoy the little treats of jam-bread which my mother used to pack as Tiffin. Now, I do not recall a single day when I must have enjoyed a hearty meal with my friends in the college. Most of the times, I gulp it down either half-heartedly or hastily.
Such is life! We spend our entire lives learning, then earning but in the end, yearning for more. My elder sister always used to tell me one thing: Believe in yourself more, judge yourself less by the accomplishments of others.Always look ahead, and never look back. I used to nod my head in agreement to it. But now, I guess, that is the hardest thing to do, isnt’t it? After all, we all do judge ourselves based on others’ accomplishments only. Although a need never arises to feel downcast, I do feel so when my peers get recruited in better firms with better salaries. My somnolent jealousy becomes awake (unfair on my part) and my own achievements seem meager to me. Hahaha….
Sometimes, I cannot fathom the numbness and awkwardness inside me, an anguish which is buried deep inside, struggling to come out now and then.
Sometimes, as I recline in the vastness of emotions, I ponder that all that happens in our life is uncontrollable, to some extent and we, like a spectators, start enjoying it and lose hold of the art to manoeuvre it tactfully.
I often have discussions with myself about the kind of life I would have cherished. I have spent a great deal of my life being mesmerized and enchanted by English classics. The enormity and depth of characters have always mystified me and made me endeavor to be like them.But that would have been unjustified from my side, no? I wish I could meander amidst the vast green expanse of the fields, with the warmth of sun kissing my soul deep within, breathing in the fragrance of simplicity and naivety which life wishes to offer...
Today, a feeling of bitterness and resentment made me write…A talent I had become devoid of in the last few months. Why do I have to earn six lakhs a month if iam content with four? Why do I need to drive a Mercedes if iam happy with Maruti ? Why do I need to sing, dance and cook (or look) well if iam happy the way iam? Why do I need to shoulder the responsibility of bringing joys to others’ life if iam not happy from within?
There is a plethora of questions which have no answers but unfailingly, we ponder over them every single moment. Through this blog, I seriously don’t intend to find an answer to them and arouse any kind of resentment in some optimistic souls…iam simply looking forward to mingle with those like-minded people who are entangled in the mind-boggling predicaments of life…..those confused souls!