Oct 9, 2008

The myriad types of blood suckers!

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, I was flipping through a science journal when I came across a photograph of a leech. Eyeing the slimy, wriggling creature , I slipped into my contemplative mood recalling those blood- suckers in my own life. Some can be easily taken care of by a little bit of “salt- rubbing” but for the rest, squashing, smashing and impaling are the only alternatives.

Hmmm, let me categorize the myriad bloodsuckers I have come across in my life:

  1. The tech- freaks and gizmo- geeks: During my three years in college, I have come across various ‘ Einsteins’ who can recite the whole list of soft wares, gadgets etc old or new, with panache. Quite a commendable job! What I cannot tolerate are the bouts of insults thrown on others by them, lack of humility and modesty in them, the surprised ( in fact, shocked! ) look on their faces on realizing that others are equally equipped with knowledge and capabilities and last but not the least, the sing-song of praises for themselves. Losers!

2.The critical ‘ Aunties’: there are some friends of my mummy, mummies of my friends and well as some other ‘XYZ’ aunties who feel that it is their duty to inform me that my ‘ kurtis’ are extremely tight, my weight is soaring heights, iam of ‘ marriageable’ age, shouldn’t be so career-oriented etc. They are desperate to know how much do I earn, whom am I dating etc and even more desperate to tell that their ‘betis’ cook so proficiently ,their ‘ puttars’ earn 10 lacs per month, their earrings are diamond-studded and their saris, pure kanjivarams. Aunty ji, what the hell is this???

3.The ‘over ripened’ souls : Some smarties believe that maturity doesn’t come with age at all. They feel that they are mature enough to argue incessantly, talk about sex, booze and cigarettes confidently, be over- demanding about their rights, patronize and belittle others and do every shitty thing, which, they believe, would make their mature in the eyes of others. But give them some responsibility, or expect some degree of commitment towards their family, friends and others or and watch them acquire deaf ears in a fraction of second!

4.The ungrateful ones: there are some ungrateful morons for whom “ Thank you! “ is a phrase non-existent in their dictionaries. You spend all your time trying to make life better and things easier for them. Now, when their turn arrives, they initially rebuff you and then squat you down, like a housefly.

5.The walking “ Gucci “ showroom: “Oh! This saree cost me 25,000 /- . Gold brocade, you know! “
“You know, I prefer only Rolex watches !”
“Every room in our house has an A.C !”
“We have Mercedes at our disposal all the time .”

Well , I guess you all must have got the clue!

6.The United ‘ bottom –pinchers’ and ‘eye- winkers’ of India: This ‘ award- winning’ category comprises of the paanwallas, sabzi wallahs, uncle jis, bhai sahibs, and most importantly, the ‘Respectable’ crowd of route no.764 which I board everyday. No matter whichever street you walk or whichever bus you board, their preconceived notion that women at available at their service 24*7 and we are alive just for their entertainment and pleasure will always remain etched on their minds!!

I guess that was enough… I would definitely need a “Punching bag “ now!!


Arpita said...

Hahahahhahahha..well..I can fill in the categories with glorious examples. Not only will it make the description more illustrative, but would be huge fun, for 9 out of 10 times, I'm sure both of us will throw the very same examples...hahahahehehe!!
The world is full of people who would crane their nose to probe in other people's life.
Although they are very good at filling up others jug of frustration up to the brim, they forget that in the process of doing so, that are making the insecurities of their own life explicit .So let them bask in the glory of their nothingness..Losers!!
You chill maadi and laugh it out!!

justforpraveen said...

Oh yes I just hate most of these types you listed.Haha you must be really pissed off while writing this down.

Munmun said...

The irony is,iam pissed off most of the times!!!hehehe

Sumit said...

Well you've got it summed up nicely!.
By the looks of this post, you are really going on to become that 'elite' intellectuals of our country.
Good going!

Vikram Karve said...

Astute observation, interesting analysis and very well written. Food for thought, illuminating, one must be careful not to be perceived as a "leech" even inadvertently. An entertaining yet insightful blog; enjoyed reading it...!